A Tale Of Two Daddies

From MSNBC:

"(Tom) Cruise recently said he had purchased a sonogram machine so that he and the 26-year-old actress could see the development of their baby."

I'm going to toss out one simple statement I heard all the time as a child: A watched pot never boils.

On those occasions when my wife went in for sonograms, I could never make heads or tails of what I was looking at. As recently as last week, I was charged by my wife to determine if my sister-in-law's sonogram pictures showed a crank or a hoo-ha on my future nephew or niece. I may as well have been looking at a picture of a TV tuned in to a blank channel.

Maybe if he sets the sonogram machine next to his e-meter and chants "Help me, L. Ron...help me, L. Ron", he'll have better luck at reading those pictures than I did.

Next article up says:

"The mother of two of Michael Jackson’s children has reportedly said that the babies were conceived from a test tube."

To use the vernacular: Well, no shit.

Michael Jackson, despite the straight hair, bleached skin and pointy nose, is black. So are his parents and all of his siblings. Doesn't matter how white Mama is, a black man's children are not going to have the aryan looks that his children do. Besides, Michael's proclivities have tended to be directed more towards pre-pubescent boys. He thinks girls are ookie.

In the case of Debbie Rowe, he was right. She is kinda ookie. Lisa Marie, on the other hand, was (and still is) smoking.

I need to go to bed. Two separate posts today have included both Michael Jackson and Tom Cruise.

Admittedly, there are times that even I think Republicans suck.

FCC Chairman Kevin Martin, addressing Congress, made the following statement:

"You can always turn the television off and, of course, block the channels you don't want," Martin said, "but why should you have to?"

Granted, he was discussing an a la carte option for choosing cable channels (as opposed to them being bundled), but this statement, viewed as a stand-alone, just frightens me.

Of course, I've discussed a similar situation previously.

The 10 most WHAT???

So I spent the better part of last night setting up the new computer, connecting it to the satellite, etc. My plan was to be done by 10:00 so that I could test out the recording capabilities using my favorite TV show, Boston Legal (Spader and Shatner make me laugh…a lot).

Suddenly, I hear my wife upstairs say, “Oh No.”

Turns out that Boston Legal was pre-empted so that we could catch Baba Wawa listing the “10 Most Fascinating People of 2005”.

After I reeled off my list of obscenities, I went back to work on the computer and watched “Nip/Tuck” instead.

This morning I came across the list of 10 Most Fascinating and, needless to say, I’m disgusted. Would’ve been disgusted even if they hadn’t pre-empted my show.

Dakota Fanning: Cute little girl and quite a little actress but “most fascinating”? “OK,” I think to myself, “there’s the token. Let’s see who number 9 is…”

Jamie Foxx: He did a great job in “Ray” and is one of the few bruthas to win an Oscar. Good actor but, again, “most fascinating”? I think not.

Condi Rice: God bless ya, Baba. You actually got one right (although she's ranked 8th). A black woman (in color, at least. Most other black folks don’t claim her), raised in the segregated south who went on to become Secretary of State. Fascinating indeed.

Teri Hatcher: A television actress who, on the downward slide of a career, gets picked up for “Desperate Housewives” and she’s suddenly a star again. Bully for her.

Thomas Mesereau: I’ll give Babs that this one is fairly fascinating. How someone could convince a jury, against their better judgment, to acquit Michael Jackson was a hell of a hat trick. Morally reprehensible, but a little fascinating.

Lance Armstrong: Extremely impressive athlete (albeit with horrible taste in women). He did manage to accomplish something unheard of in his sport and for that I give him props.

Beth Holloway-Twitty: She sought out the killers of her daughter. Commendable, not fascinating.

Tom Cruise: He fired his publicist and showed his true demented colors on Oprah. How human. He also got someone knocked-up (alledgedly). Big deal. I have too. It’s not that difficult a feat. Certainly not fascinating.

Kanye West: A talentless hack who said that Dubya doesn’t like black people. There’s nothing courageous about that…based on Bush’s popularity with the African-American community, all Kanye did was preach to the choir. I’m WAY more impressed with 50 Cent saying that Bush is a “gangsta” (he meant that in a good way).

Camilla Parker-Bowles: She screwed a prince for the past 30 years, much of that behind their respective spouses backs. 8 years after the princess shuffles off this mortal coil, Camilla gets her man.

By my count, there’s one fascinating person, two people who pulled off impressive feats, four idiot entertainers, an adulterous dutchess, the mother of a dead teen-ager and a cute little girl (I just can’t bring myself to slam her. She’s just a kid).

Barbara Walters and ABC should have been held up to the most severe ridicule the world could muster because, with a straight face and in all seriousness, they’ve christened these people as the most fascinating. THERE ARE SIX BILLION PEOPLE IN THIS WORLD. Couldn’t you have put in a little effort to find someone even remotely more impressive??? Despite my deep dislike for the woman, Cindy Sheehan is infinitely more fascinating than at least 7 of these people. Where was she?

Ugh. The fact that I just said something even remotely positive about Cindy Sheehan is killing me. SCREW YOU, BARBARA.

Message to ABC…bring back my show or I shall taunt you again.

How to win the hearts and minds of the youth in the Middle East?

Tune in to Comedy Central on Wednesday night to find out...

Here's an article I can stand behind.

This will likely only work with the youth, though. My father-in-law (who has a sense of humor) was forced to watch an episode of South Park last week. He didn't find it nearly as funny as the brother-in-law and I did.

This will also (most likely) work only on the male of the species as I have yet to find a woman (my wife included) who truly gets it. That's fine, though. It's a very patriarchal society over there. If you win the men over, the burkahed ones will follow.

As if they had a choice.

“Guess who’s back, back again, Daddy’s back, tell a friend…”

Much like virtually every holiday and vacation that I’ve taken since I met my lovely and talented wife, the past few days have been absolutely wonderful…and utterly exhausting. A quick recap:

Wednesday: House cleaning, errand running and meal preparation took up the entire day. The wife was primarily responsible for the house cleaning (with the exception of the kitchen) while the errands (propane tank fill, grocery store, liquor store) and cooking (pan of corn bread, sweet potato and pecan pie, injecting and rubbing 3 turkeys) was all me. Finally got finished with all of that in time to mop the floor 10 minutes before my outlaws showed up. Ate a fabulous pot roast and drank heavily before retiring for the evening.

Thursday: Up early to start frying turkeys (two for the church, one for us). Performed sous chef duties for the Mother-In-Law in between trips to the back yard to check turkeys. Ate dinner at 3:00. Napped, watched TV and ate turkey for the remainder of the day. Alcohol intake: lots.

Friday: Perhaps the most miserably cold round of golf I’ve ever played. Had to open the flask of bourbon by the 4th hole in order to stay warm. Note to self: Golf in the North Georgia Mountains in November is not the smartest idea. Lots of fun but painful when you struck the ball wrong. We quit keeping score on the back nine. Got home, napped and then went for Mexican food. Finished up the night with most of the in-laws, a nice toddy and “Reservoir Dogs”. Alcohol intake: probably the sum of Wednesday and Thursday but spread out over 13 hours or so.

Saturday: Lunch and shopping with the family. Alcohol intake: zero. Had to detox.

Sunday: In-laws left before the sun came up. For my crew, it was church followed by more shopping. Purchased a new computer to replace the 8 year-old Gateway. Now I’m exhausted AND broke but pretty excited. Gonna take a while to learn all the new bells and whistles. Alcohol intake: 1 Hatuey and 1 Bud Select. Mmmm…Hatuey.

Three more weeks until Christmas vacation. I may have recovered by then.

Lessons learned:

1. Golf on an overcast 35 degree morning is ridiculously cold;

2. I need to finish my basement;

3. It matters not the generation, married couples tend to fight just alike;

4. Four days with her grandparents is followed by 2-4 days of beatings for my daughter.

Can someone please hand Ted a bottle of Jack and tell him to shut up?

Apparently, there’s a new movie coming out entitled “Wal-Mart: The High Cost of Low Prices.”. This movie, in the spirit of Michael Moore and that “Supersize Me” idiot, intends to show that Wal Mart, one of the largest corporations in the world, essentially practices modern day slavery in order to make the rich get richer.

I should preface this with one very important disclosure: I hate Wal-Mart. Despite the fact that there’s a Wal-Mart one mile away from my house, I won’t step foot in one except in cases of extreme durress or desperation. The service sucks, they’re always overcrowded and, nine times out of ten, they’re filthy. Personally, I’d rather forgo the potential savings I would realize in a Wal-Mart in order to have a more pleasant shopping experience at some other store.

Because Cindy Sheehan has (much to her chagrin) fallen out of the spotlight and because Michael Moore hasn’t put out any new movies lately, the Left has had to latch onto something. What better than a movie which demonizes one of the greatest examples of Free Market Capitalism the world has ever seen?

Because I’m always looking for a good laugh, I check out “The Huffington Post” every now and then just to see what has the far-left moonbat’s collective panties in a twist.. Wal-Mart has dominated coversation over there to such an extent that even Ted Kennedy has thrown in his two cents. Mary Jo Kopechne, of course, has yet to weigh in on the topic.

In his post, Ted manages to express his ideas on “The Ten Commandments of Good Corporate Citizenship.” Much like Moses coming down from the mountain, I present these Ten Commandments for your edification:

1. Thou shalt pay living wages.
2. Thou shalt provide affordable health care.
3. Thou shalt pay overtime.
4. Thou shalt not bust unions.
5. Thou shalt pay and promote women and men equally.
6. Thou shalt not discriminate against people of color.
7. Thou shalt not support sweatshops.
8. Thou shalt not violate child labor laws.
9. Thou shalt provide safe working conditions.
10. Thou shalt not dump toxic waste.

Numbers six through ten are no-brainers. Ted and I at least agree on those 5 things. (Actually, we probably agree on more than that. For example, I like Scotch and love my mother too.) The first five, however, don’t sit well with me:

“1. Thou shalt pay living wages”

Good idea, but not necessarily mandatory. An employer has the right to determine how much they will pay and an employee has the right to determine how much they will accept to do the job. The employee, if they feel they are being underpaid, may choose to find a new job. If they do not choose to improve their situation, it’s their bad, not the employer’s.

If I hire someone to mow my yard and they agree to $25 a pop, why would I, as their employer, volunteer to pay them $35? If my lawn boy suddenly decides that he wants $35, I, as the employer, would then need to decide if I’m willing to pay that much. If I think he’s the greatest lawn boy in the world, chances are, I’d agree, but if I feel that I can get the same talent for $25, I’ll likely tell my lawn boy not to let the door hit him where the Good Lord split him.

In the case of Wal-Mart, the living wage requirement is especially questionable as (it appears), the larger portion of their low-level work staff consists of students and retirees who are looking for a little extra cash, not a living.

“2. Thou shalt provide affordable health care.”

This is just poorly worded. Wal-Mart does not provide health care…doctors do. I understand his point, though, and still disagree with it.

This goes hand-in-hand with the living wage issue. Good idea if you’re trying to attract great talent, but not necessary. Besides, how would you define “affordable” as far as health care is concerned? If you’re a minimum wage employee, affordable for you is going to be a small co-pay per visit. The premium for a small co-pay policy would likely exceed your annual salary.

Trust me, I am sympathetic to this. Despite the fact that my employer pays the majority of my health insurance premium, a large chunk of my monthly income is taken by health care costs…and I have a pretty healthy family and a relatively good policy. Health Insurance is classified as a benefit for a reason. It is not a right that you are entitled to just because you put in a minimum of 30 hours a week for your employer.

“3. Thou shalt pay overtime.”

It all goes back to how you were “contracted” for your services. If you were told “You will be paid $”X” for working “Y” hours,” you should absolutely be paid for those hours you put in in excess of “Y”. The employer, however, has the right to determine if they’re going to pay you for your hours or for the overall job you were given.

In the case of my wife and me, we get paid the same amount whether we put in 40 hours or 60 so I’m not completely sympathetic to this “commandment”

“4. Thou shalt not bust unions.”

In find it extremely ironic that Teddy threw this out on the same day that GM, Delphi and Ford announced that they are going to cut 58,000 jobs in order to stay afloat. Take a guess at what is the greatest contributing factor to their financial difficulties. It’s OK…you can say it.

Because of unions, each of these employers has been required to substantially overpay their workforce. Unions are inches away from causing Delta Airlines to completely collapse. If I were a Delta pilot, I would hate to be in a position to have to take a pay cut. I would hate it even more if I lost 100% of my income because my employer went broke. Delta pilots would be wise to seek out pilots from Eastern and Pan-Am and ask them how things worked out for them when their employers folded. Pilots especially should be a little more concerned with the overall picture considering the relatively limited demand for their services. If they’re going to be more beholden to their union than the folks that actually pay the bills, it serves them right to get canned.

“5. Thou shalt pay and promote women and men equally.”

One of the greatest lies ever forced on the human race is the proposition that all men (and women) are created equal. We’re not.

Please understand that this comment has absolutely nothing to do with gender, race, color, creed, etc., so read further before you label me a misogynist, racist or xenophobe.

In the sight of God and, theoretically, in the sight of the law, all people should be afforded the same rights. However, what you are paid and how you are promoted should have nothing to do with your gender but should be based on your experience, knowledge, work ethic and ability to do your job to the extent that your employer requires it.

For example, let’s say that myself and a woman have the exact same job title and responsibilities. Let’s also say that I have five years experience and she has two. She’s a single mom with two kids and I’m married with one. The job requires travel in order to be most effective at the job.

Should she and I be paid the exact same amount although I’ve got more experience and the ability to do my job more effectively than her because I don’t have to worry about being away from home for a few days at a time? Absolutely not. If the inverse were true, should she be paid more than me? Absolutely.

Now let’s say that we’ve got an equal amount of experience with the job but she’s still a single mom and I’m a married dad. A promotion opportunity comes up which is going to require more travel of the recipient. Should we be given equal consideration for the job although her situation is going to conflict with her ability to pick up and get on an airplane at a moment’s notice, thereby impairing her ability to be most effective at the job? Absolutely not.

Quotas, on any basis, are discriminatory against someone. Women and men, (just like blacks and whites, etc.) should be afforded the same opportunities, but a person’s pay and promotability should be based on experience, dependability, work ethic, job performance, etc Each of those things are affected by one’s intellect, personal situation, mental state-of-mind, etc and not whether they sit or stand when they pee.

In short, equal opportunity = good. Over-weighted consideration in order to fill a quota = bad.

I thought about ending this by saying that Ted Kennedy is an idiot, but that would not be a fair statement. I honestly don’t know if he believes any of this, but I DO know that he has to spew out this crap in order to get elected. The problem is, because Teddy-boy says it, many people will actually believe it.

And, once again, I'd need to state that I hate Wal-Mart and this is not a defense of them. In addition to bad service and filthy stores, I have some other issues and concerns with them. I just think that some people have a very false sense of entitlement when it comes to their employers, perceived rights, etc.

Ugh…I’m exhausted. Thus endeth my rant for the day.

Things You’ll Hear on Thanksgiving That Sound Dirty But Really Aren’t:

1. Talk about a huge breast!

2. Tying the legs together keeps the inside moist.

3. If I don't undo my pants, I'll burst!

4. Whew, that's one terrific spread!

5. I'm in the mood for a little dark meat.

6. It's a little dry, do you still want to eat it?

7. Just spread the legs open and stuff it in.

8. How long will it take after you stick it in?

9. You'll know it's ready when it pops up.

10. Wow, I didn't think I could handle all of that!

11. That's the biggest one I've ever seen!

12. How long do I beat it before it's ready?

Amusing site of the day

If you haven’t seen the dialectyzer, give it a shot. You can read any website in any dialect you choose. Just to test it out, I used the last paragraph of my last post:

Original:

I'm not going to research this last point but, if memory serves, Sheriff Arpaio is the same sheriff whose recent exploits include housing his prisoners in tent cities rather than air conditioned jails and forcing them to wear pink underwear.

Gotta love the guy.

posted by Big Bad Dad

Redneck:

ah's not a-gonna research this hyar last point but, eff'n memo'y sarves, Sheriff Arpaio is th' same sheriff whose recent sploits include housin' his prisoners in tent cities rather than air corndishuned jails an' fo'cin' them t'wears pink unnerwar.

Gotta love th' guy.

posted by Trimenjus Bad Paw

Jive:

I'm not goin' t'research dis last point but, if memo'y serves, Sheriff Arpaio be de same sheriff whose recent 'esploits include housin' his prisoners in tent cities rada' dan air condishuned jails and fo'cin' dem t'wear pink underwear. Ah be baaad...Gotsta love da damn dude.

posted by Big Baaaad Pops

Elmer Fudd:

I’m not going to weseawch this wast point but, if memowy sewves, Shewiff Awpaio is the same shewiff whose wecent expwoits incwude housing his pwisonews in tent cities wathew than aiw conditioned jaiws and fowcing them to weaw pink undewweaw.Gotta wove the guy.

posted by Big Bad Dad

"Your mother was a hamster and your father smelt of elderberries!"

Did you just call me a Jeff Gordon Fan? Oh no, you din't!!

Stories like this just make me happy. Call it schadenfreude, but to see this whiny biz-nitch be taken down a few pegs just brings a tear to my eye. Maybe we can count on the same type of thing from his whiny little brother, too.

Maybe this will have also taught old Kurt a lesson that many of us learned early on...don't pick a fight with a cop. There's no way it is going to end well for you. If he'd have just been a tad cooperative, he'd have walked away. You especially don't start a fight if you just kicked back a Crown and Water at dinner (of course, since we're talking about this pansy, it was probably more like a Malibu and Coke...with extra cherries.)

Instead, he's lost several hundred thousand dollars by not being able to compete in the last two races of the year (Jeremy Mayfield last seen bragging that he beat Kurt in the Chase), but he's lost what respect the sport had for him in the first place.

This article just struck me as funny. Pay close attention to the highlighted passages:

AP: NASCAR's Kurt Busch Regrets Actions
By MIKE HARRISAP
Motorsports WriterMIAMI

A repentant Kurt Busch said he regrets becoming "argumentative" with an officer during a traffic stop last week in Phoenix, but insists that alcohol played no part in his behavior.

"When I was asked by the officer if I had been drinking, I explained to them I had one drink during dinner, but I was certainly not intoxicated," Busch said in an exclusive telephone interview with The Associated Press from his Charlotte, N.C., office Thursday night.

The reigning NASCAR Nextel Cup champion was pulled over for driving 60 mph in a 45 mph zone, swerving to avoid a car and running a stop sign last Friday night on his way back to Phoenix International Raceway. He said he was returning from dinner with his fiancee.

The police report said the deputy smelled alcohol on Busch, and the driver became belligerent. "You're only doing this because you're a Jeff Gordon fan," Busch was quoted as saying to the officer in the police report, released earlier Thursday in Phoenix. He was eventually issued a misdemeanor citation for reckless driving.

"I admit I became a bit argumentative with the officer when he continuously insisted that I submit to a field sobriety test and a breath test, which I ultimately did," Busch said. "I later learned my (preliminary breathalyzer) test was .017. That's consistent with an individual my size having one drink. That's brought us to this point."

"I regret that my actions, including saying some disrespectful things to the officer, made the situation worse. I have apologized for this and I want to reiterate this apology to the officer and to the Maricopa County Sheriff's Department."

The officer, responding to Busch's comment about Gordon, said did not follow NASCAR and is a fan of neither Gordon nor Busch. He eventually called a supervisor to the scene.

According to the police report, Busch called the deputies "a joke," crowded an officer and asked "Do you know who I am?" at various points while he was detained.

"I resent him making derogatory remarks about our sheriffs," said Maricopa County Sheriff Joe Arpaio. Even though an official alcohol breath machine had malfunctioned, Arpaio said there was no point to have Busch take that test because the preliminary results showed he wasn't intoxicated...

Say what you will about Maricopa County's finest but don't DARE call them Jeff Gordon fans. They'll snatch you bald-headed for that.

I'm not going to research this last point but, if memory serves, Sheriff Arpaio is the same sheriff whose recent exploits include housing his prisoners in tent cities rather than air conditioned jails and forcing them to wear pink underwear.

Gotta love the guy.

"If you listen to heavy metal music, you're going to Hell!!!"

At least that's what I was told...

As a child of the 80s, I vividly recall the PMRC, American Family Association and the traveling sideshow of preachers who were going to save the youth from the evils of Rock and Roll music..

These groups managed to accomplish two things in my house growing up. They opened Mom and Dad’s eyes to the evil being forced on their children by the record companies and, at the same time, introduced me to some really good music.

OK…”good” might be a stretch, in some cases. “Entertaining” might be more appropriate.

Growing up, I had two uncles whose musical tastes influenced my choice in music. In fact, there were probably very few 7 year olds, other than me, who had KISS “Destroyer” on 8-track and Black Sabbath’s “Sabbath Bloody Sabbath” on vinyl. My taste for this type of music continued to develop up until Jr. High when the AMA and PMRC opened America’s eyes to the evil inherent in rock-and-roll music. What did I learn?

1. KISS stood for “Knights in Satan’s Service”

2. RUSH stood for “Rise Under Satan’s Hand”

3. AC/DC stood for “Anti-Christ/Devil’s Children”

4. Led Zepplin’s “Stairway to Heaven”, if played backwards, praised Satan as did “Hotel California” and “2112”

5. Judas Priest and Ozzy Osbourne blatantly put subliminal message in their music which encouraged listeners to get the commit suicide. A couple kids even offed themselves and the parents filed suit.

All of this did not have the desired effect on me as it only strengthened my resolve to buy more AC/DC and Rush albums. Was it because I wanted to learn more about the dark powers of Satan? No. I just thought it would be an entertaining way of pissing off Mom and Dad….teen-aged rebellion and all.

As time has passed, my musical tastes have continued to include the “dark side” of rock and roll. Marilyn Manson and KORN still figure prominently in my CD collection, as do System of a Down, Disturbed, etc.

Considering all of the bands I have in my collection, if the music were as influential as it was always claimed to be, I’d likely be a depressed, drug-addicted, angry, America-hating Satanist. Considering there was even a time that I liked Erasure, Anything Box, etc., I may have also turned out gay.

Instead, I’m a good old Christian Republican boy who has a southern accent, loves his whiskey and NASCAR and owns a pick-up truck (not my daily driver, but still…). Never once have I listened to an entire Country album from start to finish…much to my wife’s chagrin.

And then there’s this little butt nugget whose taste for Christian music has obviously had zero influence on him (please note that hitting the little “Next Blog” box in the upper right-hand corner may well direct you to crap like that. Do so at your own peril.)

Does music have the ability to calm the savage beast and influence behavior? Sure as hell works on my kid. Works on me too. The day I’ve had often influences what CD I’ll listen to on the drive home. And if it was a bad day and I was just listening to Slipknot, I start beating my wife as soon as I walk through the door. JUST KIDDING!

Can lyrics in hard-rock music (which often times are unintelligible unless you have the liner notes with you) completely change your personality, mental state-of-mind, morals, values and belief system, while also causing you to do harm to yourselves and/or others? Perhaps, but only if you were really weak-minded in the first place. As callous as this seems, I’ve always thought that Ozzy and Judas Priest did the parents who sued them a favor. From a mental and intellectual standpoint, those kids had obviously already peaked.

Think I’ll listen to a little KORN on the drive home.

“The most outrageous lies that can be invented will find believers if a man only tells them with all his might.” – Mark Twain

So glad to see you boys are finally taking a stand.

Two weeks ago today, on this humble little blog, I threw out a little rant about the Democrat’s attempts to revise history by accusing the Bush administration of manipulating intelligence and lying to the American people about the threats posed by Saddam, making several points in both the original post and subsequent comments to, essentially, show that the “Angry Left” is full of...brown, mushy stuff…

I kept waiting for Bush to grow a pair and was let down by the fact that he remained silent. He’s finally broken his silence, and for that, I’m pleased. A little disappointed by the fact that he didn’t do it a week sooner, but glad that it was finally done.

Dick Cheney delivered a speech last night, from which, I’m excerpting a couple key items:

“Thank you very much, and good evening to all of you. I heard about your gathering, and since I work down the street from here I thought I’d drop in and say hello.””… I see many good friends in the room, including current and former office holders. It’s a pleasure to see all of you. I’m sorry that we couldn’t be joined by Senators Harry Reid, John Kerry, or Jay Rockefeller. They were unable to attend due to a prior lack of commitment. “

“…As most of you know, I have spent a lot of years in public service, and first came to work in Washington, D.C. back in the late 1960s. I know what it's like to operate in a highly charged political environment, in which the players on all sides of an issue feel passionately and speak forcefully. In such an environment people sometimes lose their cool, and yet in Washington you can ordinarily rely on some basic measure of truthfulness and good faith in the conduct of political debate. But in the last several weeks we have seen a wild departure from that tradition. And the suggestion that's been made by some U.S. senators that the President of the United States or any member of this Administration purposely misled the American people on pre-war intelligence is one of the most dishonest and reprehensible charges ever aired in this city.

Some of the most irresponsible comments have, of course, come from politicians who actually voted in favor of authorizing force against Saddam Hussein. These are elected officials who had access to the intelligence, and were free to draw their own conclusions. They arrived at the same judgment about Iraq's capabilities and intentions that was made by this Administration and by the previous Administration. There was broad-based, bipartisan agreement that Saddam Hussein was a threat … that he had violated U.N. Security Council Resolutions … and that, in a post-9/11 world, we couldn't afford to take the word of a dictator who had a history of WMD programs, who had excluded weapons inspectors, who had defied the demands of the international community, who had been designated an official state sponsor of terror, and who had committed mass murder. Those are facts. What we're hearing now is some politicians contradicting their own statements and making a play for political advantage in the middle of a war. The saddest part is that our people in uniform have been subjected to these cynical and pernicious falsehoods day in and day out. American soldiers and Marines are out there every day in dangerous conditions and desert temperatures – conducting raids, training Iraqi forces, countering attacks, seizing weapons, and capturing killers – and back home a few opportunists are suggesting they were sent into battle for a lie. The President and I cannot prevent certain politicians from losing their memory, or their backbone – but we're not going to sit by and let them rewrite history. We're going to continue throwing their own words back at them. And far more important, we're going to continue sending a consistent message to the men and women who are fighting the war on terror in Iraq, Afghanistan, and many other fronts. We can never say enough how much we appreciate them, and how proud they make us. They and their families can be certain: That this cause is right … and the performance of our military has been brave and honorable … and this nation will stand behind our fighting forces with pride and without wavering until the day of victory."

Well said.

Update: Jonah Goldberg plays devil's advocate...

"Censorship, like charity, should begin at home, but unlike charity, it should end there."

The 80s are making a comeback –

As a child of the 80’s, I can look back fondly on many of the things that made it the decade it was:

Pink Izods (had ‘em)
Parachute Pants (had ‘em)
Jamz (had ‘em)
Big hair (definitely had it)
Make-up on women AND men (I’ll admit to wearing eyeliner when we went clubbing)
Flipped-up collars (did it)

Some of these things are making a comeback in 2005. In fact, last week, I was forced to sit through a fashion show and learned that pink on men is making a comeback, as are the flipped-up collars.

The Killers are bringing back an 80s sound (complete with fake British accents) and the newest CD from Disturbed contains a (very good) cover of “Land of Confusion”. Depeche Mode has even put out a new album (which I’m looking forward to picking up).

Unfortunately, something else from the 80s is making a very vocal comeback…fundamentalist right-wing Christian nut-jobs who demand a nanny-state “for the children”.

I should preface this rant with the following:

I am a Christian;

I was raised in the church and, although I didn’t regularly attend church throughout most of the 90s and the first 4 years of the 21st century, my faith and ideals remained very strong.

I’ve found myself back in the good graces of the church and am now an active member in good-standing (I think) of a fantastic Presbyterian congregation.

I vote Republican (I only bring this up to support my “right-winger” credentials)

That said, stuff like this really pisses me off.

The FCC received, in the month of July 2005, 23,547 complaints. FOUR of those were not from the Parent’s Television Counsel. What was so offensive that one organization filed 23,543 obscenity complaints?

Roger Daltrey of “The Who” said fuck when singing “Who Are You” at the Live 8 concert (shown on ABC) and;

Some crime drama I’ve never heard of on Fox had some objectionable content.

Because I’ve never watched “The Inside” and have no idea of the objectionable content in question, I’ll refrain from commenting. But COME ON! 13,000 complaints because a senior citizen rock star sang an almost 30 year old song that contained the word “fuck” on national TV? Are we really so sensitive?

This is, of course, nothing new. I compare this to the 80s because, as a child of the 80s, I vividly recall the PMRC and the American Family Association. More on this later…I could write a book on the topic, which would make for an extremely long post.

As Clare Luce Boothe said “Censorship, like charity, should begin at home, but, unlike charity, should end there.” My message to Brent Bozell and the rest of the morons at the Parent’s Television Counsel would be for you to monitor your own children’s viewing habits rather than try to impose your morality on the rest of this country. If you see something that’s truly objectionable, change the channel. Also, if your idea of “truly objectionable” includes the utterance of a four-letter word (most of which are heard in every office building and playground each day), get a freaking grip. Spend a few minutes surfing the web and I’m sure you can find way more objectionable items.

Perhaps even more objectionable than I find your attempts to cede your child-rearing responsibilities to the government to be.

Happy Birthday, PJ.

PJ O'Rourke, for those who may not know him, is a Journalist/Political Satirist who I've always gotten a kick out of. His books have made quite a few recent flights go a little quicker. So, in honor of his birthday today, I present a few quotes from some of his books. Since Clay has assembled quite a collection of quotatations, I thought I'd provide him with a few more (as long as he doesn't mind them coming from an avowed Republican). Some are pretty insightful but most are just kinda funny.

Enjoy.


You say we [reporters] are distracting from the business of government. Well, I hope so. Distracting a politician from governing is like distracting a bear from eating your baby.

Giving government money and power is like giving car keys and whiskey to a teenage boy"

"Man developed in Africa. He has not continued to do so there."

"Sen. Ted Kennedy: "And when the Reagan administration was selling arms to Iran, WHERE WAS GEORGE?" Answer: Dry, sober, and at home with his wife."

You can't get good Chinese takeout in China and Cuban cigars are rationed in Cuba. That's all you need to know about communism."

"There is only one basic human right, the right to do as you damn well please. And with it comes the only basic human duty, the duty to take the consequences."

"The Democrats are the party that says government will make you smarter, taller, richer, and remove the crabgrass on your lawn. The Republicans are the party that says government doesn't work and then they get elected and prove it."

"Even very young children need to be informed about dying. Explain the concept of death very carefully to your child. This will make threatening him with it much more effective."

"One of the annoying things about believing in free will and individual responsibility is the difficulty of finding somebody to blame your problems on. And when you do find somebody, it's remarkable how often his picture turns up on your driver's license."

"Politics should be limited in scope to ware, protection of property, and the occasional precautionary beheading of a member of the ruling class."

"The people who believe that, as a result of industrial development, life is about to become a hell, or may be one already, are guilty, at least, of sloppy pronouncements. On page 8 of Earth in the Balance, Al Gore claims that his study of the arms race gave him "a deeper appreciation for the most horrifying fact in all our lives: civilization is now capable of destroying itself." In the first place, the most horrifying fact in many of our lives is that our ex-spouse has gotten ahold of our ATM card. And civilization has always been able to destroy itself. The Greeks of ancient Athens, who had a civilization remarkable for lack of technological progress during its period of greatest knowledge and power, managed to destroy them fine."

"Never Refuse Wine. It is an odd but universally held opinion that anyone who doesn't drink must be an alcoholic."

"The founding fathers, in their wisdom, devised a method by which our republic can take one hundred of its most prominent numbskulls and keep them out of the private sector where they might do actual harm."

Everybody knows how to raise children, except the people who have them.

I like to think of my behavior in the sixties as a "learning experience." Then again, I like to think of anything stupid I've done as a "learning experience." It makes me feel less stupid.

Drugs have taught an entire generation of American kids the metric system.

"Malthus,", says Vice President Al Gore in Earth in the Balance, "was right in predicting that the population would grow geometrically." Al, as the father of four children, should know.


Even the bad things are better than they used to be. Bad music, for instance, has gotten much briefer. Wagner's Ring Cycle takes four days to perform while "Mmm Mmm Mmm Mmm" by the Crash Test Dummies lasts little more than three minutes.

Let us compare Congress to the Justice Department's case against Microsoft. No one is trying to break up the House of Representatives because it's been too successful."

"Milton Friedman believes the crack epidemic was the result of cocaine being against the law. He says crack 'was invented because the high cost of illegal drugs made it profitable to provide a cheaper version.' Milton Friedman is a brilliant man, a courageous defender of liberty. I respect Milton Friedman. I revere Milton Friedman. But from drugs Milton Friedman doesn't know. Crack is less expensive than powdered cocaine - for ten seconds. It was the marketing guys who thought up crack, not the people in accounting."

"Politicians are interested in people. Not that this is always a virtue. Fleas are interested in dogs."

"I was drunk" is a polite way of saying, "I shed my inhibitions and did exactly what I wanted to do, and if you provoke me, I'll do it again."

"Everything in this room is edible. Even I am edible, but that is called cannibalism, my dear children, and is, in fact frowned on in many societies"

Last night, I spent the evening locked up with KT watching "Charlie and the Chocolate Factory" (KT is a big fan of the oompa-loompas). The cannibalism line referenced above is, unquestionably, one of my favorite lines in the movie, but that's because I'm kinda sick.

So, after 4 days of being offline, what is one of the first links I'm directed to this morning but Hufu?

I would probably find this whole thing hysterical if I didn't think that this was some sort of moral relativism propaganda put out by the PETA types or someone who took The Smiths way too seriously in the 1980s.

It is, at first glance, kinda humorous. Maybe, if it's quiet today, I'll spend a little more time over there to determine if I'm amused or outraged.

Interesting read of the day

"The Wrong Argument, The Wrong Place, The Wrong Time"

Yea, Cynthia McKinney! You GO, girl!

Thanks, DeKalb County!

H.R.4210
Title: To provide for the expeditious disclosure of records relevant to the life and death of Tupac Amaru Shakur.
Sponsor: Rep McKinney, Cynthia A. [GA-4] (introduced 11/2/2005)
Cosponsors (None)
Latest Major Action: 11/2/2005 Referred to House committee. Status: Referred to the Committee on Government Reform, and in addition to the Committee on Rules, for a period to be subsequently determined by the Speaker, in each case for consideration of such provisions as fall within the jurisdiction of the committee concerned.

Giving Credit Where Credit Is Due..

...although I doubt that this means that he's supporting Alito.

http://http://www.washtimes.com/national/20051103-111740-7148r.htm

Good Read

http://www.nationalreview.com/goldberg/goldberg200511040822.asp

The Ninth Circuit Ruling...

OK...over my bowl of soup, I gave the ruling a second glance and, see that this may not be as horrible as I originally took it to be. Seems like the principles behind the ruling are pretty sound.

The wording of the ruling, logical though it may be, is just not something Dad wants to hear.

Oh, this has got Rove's fingerprints all OVER it...

The Ninth Circuit strikes again...

Say you've just nominated a conservative to SCOTUS and you're hearing a little hemming-and-hawing about how your choice to WAY to far to the right of mainstream America and there just might be a battle. How do you ensure that you've got popular support for your choice?

A. Get all Machiavellian and tell the American public "I'm the President and you're not, so bite me";

B. Say a prayer, light a candle and hope that your nominee gets confirmed on his merits; or,

C. Convince the Ninth Circuit to issue a ruling saying that parents do not have the right to be the exclusive provider of information to their elementary-aged children on the subject of sex...if the public school system wants to quiz your child on their sexual feelings, you, as the parent, must deal with it.

If you chose C., you would be correct!

"…there is no fundamental right of parents to be the exclusive provider of information regarding sexual matters to their children, either independent of their right to direct the upbringing and education of their children or encompassed by it. We also hold that parents have no due process or privacy right to override the determinations of public schools as to the information to which their children will be exposed while enrolled as students. Finally, we hold that the defendants’ actions were rationally related to a legitimate state purpose.... …In summary, we hold that there is no free-standing fundamental right of parents “to control the upbringing of their children by introducing them to matters of and relating to sex in accordance with their personal and religious values and beliefs” and that the asserted right is not encompassed by any other fundamental right. In doing so, we do not quarrel with the parents’ right to inform and advise their children about the subject of sex as they see fit. We conclude only that the parents are possessed of no constitutional right to prevent the public schools from providing information on that subject to their students in any forum or manner they select."

Isn't that special?

Just as a little refresher, this is the same court who ruled the Pledge of Allegiance unconstitutional. Gotta love them.

The link for the entire ruling is below:

http://www.ca9.uscourts.gov/ca9/newopinions.nsf/E8695945B7C6F6B5882570AD0051320A/$file/0356499.pdf?openelement

"So, Mr. President, When Did You Stop Beating Your Wife?"

Found this little item this morning

http://www.washtimes.com/national/20051103-121638-6892r.htm

It seemed timely as it comes the morning after my post on the Bush Lied mantra. Three items captured my attention:

1. Howard Dean, the Democratic National Committee chairman, whose ill-fated 2004 presidential campaign was fueled by opposition to the war, called on the White House and Vice President Dick Cheney to "answer questions about their roles in manipulating intelligence information to build support for the war, smearing opponents of the war and covering up that smear campaign."

Talk about showing your hand...

2. House Democratic Leader Nancy Pelosi of California and Mr. Reid also sent Mr. Bush a letter asking him to apologize for the actions by Mr. Cheney's chief of staff, I. Lewis "Scooter" Libby and any other officials who may have been involved in the CIA leak investigation.

Spoken like a true mother: "YOU SAY YOU'RE SORRY!"

At least I can say this about Pelosi: Her demand is that they apologize for the acts of a subordinate without actually implying that Bush and Cheney are guilty. I'm sure I'll eat my words later, but I'll give credit where credit is due.

3. Michael O'Hanlon, a Brookings Institution defense analyst who advises Democrats on national-security issues, said it was legitimate for the Democrats "to raise the broader context" of the special prosecutor's indictment in the CIA leak investigation. "But it remains dangerous for any opposition party to focus on scandals by the governing party. ... Reminding voters what Republicans may have done wrong will not reach the level of getting the Democrats into the game."

Looks like Mr. O'Hanlon and I are on the same page...to some extent.

I'll leave you with another story I came across this morning about black Democrats in Maryland pelting a black Republican with Oreos as they're both black on the outside and white on the inside.

Note to all: this isn't a party issue...

http://www.washingtontimes.com/metro/20051103-120701-5604r.htm

Good grief...

Everyone is entitled to be stupid, but some abuse the privilege.

A tremendous amount of anti-war or, rather, anti Bush, stupidity has been going around for the past few days. Just yesterday, the Senate doors were shut by the Senate Minority Leader. Why did he do this, you ask?

"Finally, after months and months and months of begging, cajoling, writing letters, we're finally going to be able to have phase two of the investigation regarding how the intelligence was used to lead us into the intractable war in Iraq,"

The Democrats have been beaten up for the past few days.

A. They expected the entire Bush Administration to be taken out to the Navy Ship Yards and hung from the yardarms over the Valerie Plame issue and all they got was Obstruction of Justice indictments against a guy named Scooter;

B. They got a conservative SCOTUS nominee who, chances are, they have no chance of defeating; and,

C. Bush's poll numbers are finally starting to go up (albeit, just a little).

Hell, they're so beat up, even their elder statesman is getting involved:

"The Bush Administration's prewar claims that Saddam Hussein had weapons of mass destruction were "manipulated, at least" to mislead the American people, former President Jimmy Carter said Wednesday.

The decision to go to war was the culmination of a long-term plan to attack Iraq that resulted from the first President Bush not taking out Saddam, Carter said on NBC's "Today" show.

Carter also said he supports the move by Senate Democrats to force an update on the investigation into prewar intelligence on Iraq, and says Republicans have been dragging their feet on the investigation.

Democrats Tuesday used a rarely invoked Senate rule to force a secret session as a way to dramatize their assertions that the Bush administration misused intelligence in the run-up to the war in Iraq.

A bipartisan committee has been appointed to review the investigation. "

Once again, the Dems are going after Bush by saying that, had he not lied about WMD in Iraq, we wouldn't be in Iraq where our "children" are dying.

Hey, Lefties...let me let you in on a little secret:

WMDs WERE NOT THE SOLE REASON WE WENT TO WAR IN IRAQ.

Because of the wonders of the internet (thanks, Al!), I was able to find the resolution which authorized the war. Here's the list of seven other reasons Republicans AND DEMOCRATS voted to go to war:

1. Iraq's harboring of Al-Queda terrorists
2. Iraq's support for International Terrorism
3. Iraq's "brutal repression" of its citizens
4. Iraq's failure to repatriate or give information on non-Iraqi citizens detained and captured during Gulf War I, including an American serviceman;
5. Failing to properly return property wrongfully seized during the Kuwait invasion
6. The attempted assassination of former President Bush in 1993
7. America's national security interests in restoring peace and stability to the Persian Gulf

I'll be the first to admit that we blew it on the WMD issue, but the seven other reasons are both factual and indisputable.

What was left out of the resolution was that we had also told the UN to grow a pair and enforce their own resolutions or we'd do it for them. They didn't and we did.

A second thing I'll pass on to the Dems: Unless one of your own offspring are in uniform, don't call our soldiers "children". It's demeaning.

The last thing I'll say on this subject (for now): This country has been hit by 3 major hurricanes in the past few months. Hundreds of thousands either have a damaged house or no house at all. Jimmy Carter would be of much greater service to this country if he'd just shut up and grab a hammer.

My little Doodlebop

Here's a picture of my little Doodlebop. Ain't she cute?

She had a blast on Halloween and made out like a bandit. The wife and I have enough candy to eat until Thanksgiving.

More later.