Boy....EVERYTHING Shuts Down Around The Holidays

I got nothin'.

Checked around...there's no news, no exceptionally stupid liberal commentary. Nothing.

Not even any new paparazzi pictures with some celebrity's dinner buckets hanging out.

Accordingly, I'm done for the afternoon. I've got to start cooking dinner for the family (parents, sisters, spouses, offspring...all of them).

Tonight's menu:

Chargrilled NY Strip Steaks;
Mushrooms sauteed in butter, garlic, worcestershire and marsala;
Baked beans with plenty of jalapeno
Whatever else I can find.

Oh yeah...and beer.

Only 362 Shopping Days Until Christmas

Another Christmas has come and gone and I'm exhausted.

We arrived in Dallas last Monday afternoon and yesterday was the first day since we got here where we all had an opportunity to sit and relax. One of the downsides to living 800 miles away from our family is trying to fit in visits with almost 50 of our closest family members over 11 days. We've managed to put over 500 miles on the car since we've been here. At this point, we still haven't seen some of our friends from the area and, for some of those, it isn't looking good.

It's been a blast. We've truly enjoyed spending time with those we love and enjoy being with. We've even had a nice time with those who we love and tolerate (every family has a couple of those). But all good things must come to an end and I'm kinda ready to go home.

Getting home is, of course, going to be interesting. If you happen to be driving down I-20 on Friday and see a mid-sized sedan driving east bound with a 2 year-old in a car seat tied to the roof, it's probably us. If Granny Clampett can make it to Beverly Hills strapped into a rocking chair, my kid can make it to Atlanta in a well-designed, very safe GRACO car seat. I'll make certain to have her sitting backwards so that the 85 mile per hour winds are not blowing in her face. I'll even put her DVD player up there with her so that she's entertained while she's awake.

We all made out like bandits. I got enough Best Buy gift cards to cover the i-pod I want, a Home Depot gift card, clothes, etc. The wife also got gift cards, clothes, lotions and other girlie stuff. The kid now has every Dora the Explorer item ever made in addition to many other cool toys, books, dress-up trunks, etc.

Speaking of the kid, she decided, after spending some time with her 10 month old cousin, that she wants a sibling. I think her mom also had something to do with that idea. It's only going to get worse next time we come out as her aunt and uncle are expecting a little one in April.

Spent some bonding time yesterday with the father-in-law and brother-in-law. Went out to the middle of nowhere with a 12 guage semi-automatic, a 20 guage pump, a .38 revolver, a .45 semi-automatic and a box of skeet. The FIL was pleasantly surprised with my shotgun skills (actually hit a few pigeons), and I was a little disappointed to see how rusty I am with a pistol. Shot well enough to qualify for a concealed weapon permit, but that's like saying I did well on a test because I got one more question right than wrong. I need some practice.

Mama and kid want a baby, I want one of these. Guess who's going to win that one?

I'll give you a hint. It won't be me.

Off to search the web for something that will piss me off badly enough that I need to write about it.

More later...maybe.

I always knew I liked "Hark the Herald Angels..."

***PSYCHIATRISTS' CHRISTMAS CAROLS FOR EVERY DIAGNOSIS

Schizoprenia --- Do You Hear What I Hear?

Multiple Personality Disorder --- We Three Queens Disoriented Are

Dementia --- I Think I'll Be Home For Christmas

Narcissistic --- Hark The Herald Angels Sing About Me

Manic --- Deck The Hall and Walls and House and Lawn and Streets and Stores and Office and Town and Cars and Buses and Trucks and Trees and Fire Hydrants and.........

Paranoid --- Santa Claus Is Coming To Get Me

Borderline Personality Disorder --- Thoughts Of Roasting On An Open Fire

Personality Disorder --- You Better Watch Out, I'm Gonna Cry, I'm Gonna Pout, Maybe I'll Tell You Why

Obessive Complusive Disorder --- Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells

ADHD -- Hark the herald angels sing ba-rum-pa-pum-pum in the little town of Bethlehem up on the housetop in a winter wonderland one foggy Christmas Eve hey how bout them Bears no I don't want to switch to Sprint but thank you for shopping at K-Mart.

Contrary to popular belief, George Bush doesn't care about white people.

- Underreported story of the year.

How is it that these statistics are not making the rounds? Story here.

Let's see...in N'awlins, the population was 67% black and 28% white. However, the death stats (so far), show that 59.1% of the deaths were black and 36.6% of the death's were white.

Now, I ain't all that good at "figgering" (and I'm a Financial Analyst...isn't it ironic?), BUT:

Using some rough figures (population of NO = 479,000 with @500 deaths total), this means that mortality was 1 death per 1,088 black people and 1 death per 732 white.

In other words, whites in New Orleans died at a significantly higher rate, per capita, than blacks.

There ARE some possible explanations.

1. Maybe the whites were just collateral damage.

2. Maybe the state of Louisiana is cooking the numbers to cover up George's evil plot.

3. Maybe it was just a tragic, natural disaster exacerbated by:

• A horrible response from all government entities involved (local, state and federal);
  
• An ineffective levee system;
  
• A significant portion of the population being unwilling or unable to evacuate (note that 64% of the deceased are over age 60). Even when old people are physically capable of leaving, they're unwilling to.
  

It can't be number 3. That would be crazy talk.

"I'd have not had that happen to you, Clarice. I find discourtesy unspeakably ugly..."

If you ever find yourself in a situation with me in which I hold a door open for you, catch the elevator in time to let you on or let you go first when we're at a 4 way stop, I am assuming that your response would be to say "Thank you" or, in the case of driving, give me a little wave. It's a little thing called "common courtesy".

If you opt to forgo that courtesy, be aware that I will spend the next thirty seconds battling the voices in my head which are telling me to either smack you upside the head or run you off the road.

Granted, it's my problem, not yours...until the day that I lose the battle with the voices.

That is all.

"Oh my God, Arnie killed Tookie!"

-"You bastards!"


I’ve not weighed in on the Tookie Williams thing because, quite frankly, it’s old hat. He was a murderer (amongst other nasty things). He was convicted, sentenced to death and has exhausted every possible appeal. He paid his debt to society early this morning. I’m pro-death penalty so I’ve got no issue with this. Got bless America. Justice served.

Ordinarily, I wouldn’t take offense to anything some idiot celebrity or civil rights activist would have to say but this sort of crap irritates me.

Let’s break it down. Because it's my blog, my comments will be bold and colorful, while the comments of the galatically stupid are merely italicized:

"My brother died in June. Taken by cancer. Too young. Full of hope and possibility. "

My sincere condolences. It’s horrible to lose someone you are close to.

"Last night another cancer killed a man about the same age. The paraphernalia familiar. IVs and gurneys. Lethal drugs dripping into his veins. "

Here comes the moral equivilency…

"Ending a life that had found redemption."

Redemption is the act of re-paying a debt or being released from a harmful situation. By definition, it was ending his life which resulted in his redemption. Whatever good things he did while in prison were not redemption.

“Rendering all of a murderer’s attempts at self-preservation fruitless.” would be the more accurate description.

"But this time the cancer was on the outside. Racism killed Tookie Williams. "

No, actually, it was a cocktail of lethal chemical administered in accordance with California law that killed him.

"I don't know enough about his case to argue the fine points…"

Better to keep your mouth shut and let people believe that you are ignorant than to speak and remove any doubt…

"…but I do know that Charlie Manson is still incarcerated in a California prison. "

Doubt offically removed!

Charlie Manson’s sentence was commuted after the CA Supreme Court overturned all death sentences imposed prior to 1972. Once overturned, there's no possibility of those death sentences being reinstated. He is still alive as the result of a bad court decision which overturned his sentence…as well as hundreds of others.

"One man is white, the other Black. I do know that Williams grew up in black ghetto where gang violence was a response to screaming inequity and lack of possibility. "

Check out Manson’s biography. His childhood was just as impoverished as Tookie’s, if not more so. White and black doesn’t enter into it. Also, please note that there are many who grew up in black ghettos and managed to avoid death row.

By the way...why capitalize the "b" in "black"? "Black" is not a proper noun. Let me guess: white guilt?

"So we punish the victim."

No, Tookie punished the victims 26 years ago, as depicted in this happy little snapshot. WARNING: GRAPHIC IMAGE.

"We repeat the act that we condemn him for and congratulate ourselves on closure and righteousness. "

There is no repetition here. He committed murder. California imposed a death sentence. Two entirely different things.

"Our governator feels he is able to decide the moral and legal culpability of a human life."

Actually, the courts (several of them) decided the legal culpability of a human life (by the way, what a badly worded sentence).

Included in the powers bestowed on Arnold when you elected him Governor was the power to say that the courts were wrong in imposing the maximum possible sentence. He deferred to the court's opinion. Apparently, he gave more weight to the courts opinions than those of Snoop Dogg and Jamie Foxx, shameful as that may be.

"What if the lack of remorse he cited in his refusal to grant clemency is really based on innocence? Has he no self doubt? Would that make him a girlie man? Or a human being?"

It’s funny you mention girlie man. I was ready to tag him with that same moniker if he DID grant clemency.

"So many cases on death row in Illinois were found to be faulty that the governor there emptied the holding cells, aware of his inability to make such judgments."

Uhhh..bullshit. He did it as a final “screw you” to his constituency (and his successor) less than 48 hours before leaving office. He had to leave office because there’s no way this corrupt SOB would have been re-elected and, because of him, Illinois may never elect another Republican to the office.

As we speak, he is on trial for racketeering and fraud charges. Let’s not make a hero out of him. It wasn’t his nobility that caused him to release 200 people from their sentences.

"And what of the death penalty itself. It is not a deterrent. "

Based on the current prison population in the US, neither is incarceration. Do you suggest we abolish that as well?

"Only a perverse sick spectacle."

You should know sick and perverse. Your son is currently performing homo-erotic scenes at a theater near you. Your daughter’s sadomasochistic scenes on the big screen were quite tittilating as well.

Oh…perhaps I’m judging too harshly. They’re just earning a paycheck, right? Nothing morally objectionable about making a living, I suppose.

We are one of the few nations left on earth who still conduct executions.

Thank God for that.

"Who continue to put to death people who have actually been reformed and changed by their time in prison."

If a person becomes fiscally responsibility after getting themselves into financial trouble, does that mean they should not be obligated to repay their debts from when they were young and irresponsible?

"No one benefits from an inhuman practice that institutionalizes the very crime it is supposed to be punishing."

I’m sure that the families of the victims (the real ones…not Tookie) would take issue with that comment. They may not benefit, per se, but there's a closure and relief that they likely feel. Their loved-ones have been taken from them. Would you begrudge them the psychological benefits which come from seeing their loved-one's killers punished?

"It makes us all killers."

No. It makes us citizens of a society which believes that the punishment should fit the crime.

"How different in the end is our governor from Tookie Williams?"

Well, to start with, Arnold woke up this morning next to his wife and headed downstairs for a hearty breakfast before he started his day. That’s one difference.

There’s probably about 692,001 other ways that a successful, multi-millionaire immigrant who became Governor of the largest state in the country is different from a murdering gang-banger, but I haven’t the time to list them all.

"Yesterday he committed murder and by his own report he feels no remorse."

Yesterday, he chose not to override the system of law in this fine republic and for that he should be commended.

He should not demonized by the weak-minded for doing his job.

A message to my fellow Christians

-“Happy Holidays” is just peachy…

Over and over again, I keep seeing that some of my good Christian brethren and sisteren have their collective panties in a twist over retail outlets using the phrase “Happy Holidays” rather than “Merry Christmas.” Of course, it doesn’t stop with the retailers. Dubya is facing his own persecution over the fact that the White House Christmas Cards said “Happy Holidays”. Even though the card specifically included a verse from Psalms, there’s still offense being taken as it was an Old Testament verse used…not something from the Gospels. Apparently, if it ain't Gospel, it ain't Christian.

This is, unquestionably, one of the stupidest things I’ve ever heard and, frankly, if you’re one of these “Good Christians” who is offended, you should be ashamed of yourself..

Important things to note:

1. The establishment of Christmas was preceded by the Jewish holiday of Hanukkah and the pagan celebration of Winter Solstice. In fact, those two celebrations figured prominently in deciding the date Christians would celebrate Christ’s birth. Were it not for the celebration of Yule (Winter Solstice), we would have no Christmas trees, no ham, no mistletoe, no holly and not a single present would be exchanged.

2. Since the establishment of Christmas, Kwanzaa has come along (whether you recongnize it as a valid holiday or not). This holiday also involves the exchange of gifts.

3. The US was founded on Christian principles and it remains true to say that the vast majority of the US population identifies themselves as Christian…approximately 75% according to recent polls. It stands to reason, then, that 25% of the US does NOT identify themselves as such. Of those 75% who identify themselves as Christian, I would venture to guess that less than half would actually be true believers.

4. In many cases, our forefathers did not celebrate Christmas as it is not sanctioned by the Bible and because the celebration is rooted in pagan tradition. In fact, our Federal Government, based on Christian Principles mind you, did not see fit to declare Christmas a federal holiday until 1870.


The “fundies” out there are upset because their most holy of holidays is being hijacked. This is a load of crap. If anything, Christians hijacked the winter celebration from the pagans.

The celebration of Christmas, in practice, is almost entirely a social and commercial enterprise. If this were not true, Christmas would not include Santa Claus, multiple Christmas parties which involve gorging ourselves on food and drink (with no invocation of spirituality whatsoever) or the obligation to exchange expensive gifts. Christmas is, and always was, a secular holiday and the fact that many of us assign a spiritual aspect to the day is largely incidental.

Just as significant, it is a holiday which coincides with other holidays for other religions which entail the giving of gifts. No retail store is going to alienate, at minimum, 25% of their customer base because you feel slighted.

With that said, I love Christmas. I love spending time with my family, I love seeing the faces of those I love when they open a gift I’ve given them. It’s only since we’ve started going to church again that I realized how much I enjoyed being a part of Christmas cantatas.

At the Christmas celebrations I have with my family and my wife’s, the Christmas story is read from the Bible…usually by one of the children. My sisters and I make it a point to teach our children the spiritual aspects of the holiday...just as our parents did with us. Yet, I recognize the holiday for what it is…a secular holiday in which I can also reflect on God’s gift to the world.

To those who are so upset about the lost meaning of Christmas, I would encourage you to start your own tradition:

Discontinue the use of any symbol of Christmas (trees, lights, etc), as they are derived from “godless religions”. Do not accept any invitations to Christmas parties whatsoever but instead dedicate that time…100% of it…to prayer. Thank God for his Son. Do not give your children or loved ones presents…period. Instead, give that money to the church. (Heck, come to think of it, staying out of stores will completely allow your delicate sensibilities to remain unoffended.)

On Christmas morning, wake up and head to your nearest church and spend the ENTIRE day praising God (that is, if you can find one that’s having an all-day service). Make certain, however, that you schedule this day at a time where it is not in conflict with any other religious holidays. Eliminate ANYTHING which could be construed as secular, thus ensuring that nobody will be able to discount your holy day by referring to it as simply a “holiday”.

Any takers? I thought not. If you’re not willing to give up the secular aspects of your holiday, you CANNOT take offense to people celebrating the winter holiday we refer to as Christmas as a secular holiday. It was a non-religious holiday to begin with.

I leave you with one other thought:

Nobody wants to hang around with an asshole. By throwing a temper-tantrum over this issue, you are making yourself out to be just that. How, then, can you possibly expect to bring non-believers to Christ if they think the fold is make up entirely of people like you? How can you explain the true meaning of Christmas to people who are immediately turned off every time you open your mouth

I’m one of you and I don’t even want to be around you. Matthew 6:1 seems to have been forgotten:

"Be careful not to do your 'acts of righteousness' before men, to be seen by them. If you do, you will have no reward from your Father in heaven. "

Maybe it's just my opinion, but God's not impressed.

Merry Christmas and Happy Holidays to y’all.

Who is more out of touch...me or the Grammy nominating committee???

-Big Bad Dad looks into his crystal ball...

The monimations have come out and Big Bad Dad makes his predictions:

Record of the Year: "We Belong Together," Mariah Carey; "Feel Good Inc.," Gorillaz featuring De La Soul; "Boulevard of Broken Dreams," Green Day; "Hollaback Girl," Gwen Stefani; "Gold Digger," Kanye West.

Who’ll get it: Kanye West. He had the “courage” to speak out against Bush.

Who SHOULD get it: I’d go with Gwen. It’s really just a rip-off of “Mickey” from 1982, but it’s not a bad song. Besides, Gwen is kinda hot.

Album of the Year: "The Emancipation of Mimi," Mariah Carey; "Chaos and Creation in the Backyard," Paul McCartney; "Love. Angel. Music. Baby.," Gwen Stefani; "How to Dismantle an Atomic Bomb," U2; "Late Registration," Kanye West.

Who’ll get it: McCartney. Just a gut instinct. He’s written some of the greatest songs ever (just heard Elenor Rigby last night and still love the song), but the last couple albums I’ve heard by Sir Paul were crap. Haven’t heard this last one. Maybe it’s fabulous. Who knows?

Who SHOULD get it: U2. “Atomic Bomb” is the latest in a long string of good albums. In fact, I can’t think of a bad U2 album.

Song of the Year: "Bless the Broken Road," Bobby Boyd, Jeff Hanna & Marcus Hummon, (Rascal Flatts); "Devils & Dust," Bruce Springsteen, (Bruce Springsteen); "Ordinary People," W. Adams & J. Stephens, (John Legend); "Sometimes You Can't Make It on Your Own," U2; "We Belong Together," J. Austin, M. Carey, J. Dupri & M. Seal, (D. Bristol, K. Edmonds, S. Johnson, P. Moten, S. Sully & B. Womack) (Mariah Carey).

Who’ll get it: Springsteen. Another gut instinct.

Who SHOULD get it: U2 (see above for reasons).

New Artist: Ciara, Fall Out Boy, Keane, John Legend, SugarLand.

Who’ll get it: No clue

Who SHOULD get it: Again, no clue. I’ve heard Ciara, so I’ll go with her.

Female Pop Vocal Performance: "It's Like That," Mariah Carey; "Since U Been Gone," Kelly Clarkson; "Good Is Good," Sheryl Crow; "I Will Not Be Broken," Bonnie Raitt; "Hollaback Girl," Gwen Stefani.

Who’ll get it: Sheryl Crow. Despite the fact that her voice is horrible and her music is pure pap, she keeps winning the stupid things.

Who SHOULD get it: Kelly Clarkson. Very good song (as far as pop songs go).

Male Pop Vocal Performance: "Sitting, Waiting, Wishing," Jack Johnson; "Fine Line," Paul McCartney; "Walk on By," Seal; "Lonely No More," Rob Thomas; "From the Bottom of My Heart," Stevie Wonder.

Who’ll get it: Stevie Wonder

Who SHOULD get it: No idea. Only song I’m familiar with is “Lonely No More”. It’s OK but far from worthy of award.

Pop Performance by a Duo or Group With Vocal: "Don't Lie," The Black Eyed Peas; "Mr. Brightside," The Killers; "More Than Love," Los Lonely Boys; "This Love," Maroon 5; "My Doorbell," The White Stripes.

Who’ll get it: “Don’t Lie”. Hate to admit it, but I kinda like the Peas. This isn’t my favorite of their songs, but it’s OK.

Who SHOULD get it: “Mr. Brightside”. The Killers are far superior to the Peas, in my opinion.

Pop Vocal Album: "Extraordinary Machine," Fiona Apple; "Breakaway," Kelly Clarkson; "Wildflower," Sheryl Crow; "Chaos and Creation in the Backyard," Paul McCartney; "Love. Angel. Music. Baby.," Gwen Stefani.

Who’ll get it: Sheryl Crow

Who SHOULD get it: Going with Kelly Clarkson over Gwen on this one.

Solo Rock Vocal Performance: "Revolution," Eric Clapton; "Shine It All Around," Robert Plant; "Devils & Dust," Bruce Springsteen; "This Is How a Heart Breaks," Rob Thomas; "The Painter," Neil Young.

Who’ll get it: Clapton

Who SHOULD get it: None of them. Rob Thomas should NEVER be classified as Rock. And what do the others have in common? Everyone of them would apply for a Senior Citizen’s discount at IHOP. Call me “ageist”, but Rock should still be a young man’s game. What they’re putting out now would’ve been considered “Rock” in 1975…not today.

Rock Performance by a Duo or Group with Vocal: "Speed of Sound," Coldplay; "Best of You," Foo Fighters; "Do You Want To," Franz Ferdinand; "All These Things That I've Done," The Killers; "Sometimes You Can't Make It on Your Own," U2.

Who will win it: Coldplay.

Who SHOULD win it: U2

Question: Who the HELL classifies Coldplay as Rock? The only thing rock and roll about Coldplay is the lead singer’s tendency to give his kid a stupid name. Somewhere, Frank Zappa is asking “Who in their right mind would name his kid “Apple?””

Hard Rock Performance: "Doesn't Remind Me," Audioslave; "The Hand That Feeds," Nine Inch Nails; "Tin Pan Valley," Robert Plant; "Little Sister," Queens of the Stone Age, "B.Y.O.B., System of a Down.

Who’ll win: Robert Plant. Jethro Tull beat out Metallica in this same category many years ago.

Who SHOULD win: System of a Down. As with the Peas, BYOB wouldn’t be my first choice as System’s best song, but it’s alright.

Metal Performance: "The Great Satan," Ministry; "Determined," Mudvayne; "Mein Teil," Rammstein; "What Drives the Weak," Shadows Fall; "Before I Forget," Slipknot.

Who’ll win: Ministry

Who SHOULD win: Ministry. Hate their politics, but, for the sake of nostalgia, I’d root for them.

Rock Song: "Best of You," Foo Fighters, (Foo Fighters); "Beverly Hills," Rivers Cuomo, (Weezer); "City of Blinding Lights, U2, (U2); "Devils & Dust," Bruce Springsteen, (Bruce Springsteen); "Speed of Sound," Guy Berryman, Jon Buckland, Will Champion & Chris Martin, (Coldplay).

Who’ll win: Either Foo Fighters or Weezer.

Who SHOULD win: U2

Rock Album: "X&Y," Coldplay; "In Your Honor," Foo Fighters; "A Bigger Bang," The Rolling Stones; "How to Dismantle an Atomic Bomb," U2; "Prairie Wind," Neil Young.

Who’ll win: Stones

Who SHOULD win: Not a damn one of them. I can come up with, off the top of my head, 5 rock albums released in 2005 which are FAR superior to any one of those nominated:

“Octavarium,” Dream Theater
“Chapter V, “Staind
“Ten Thousand Fists,” Disturbed
“Hypnotize” or “Mezmorize,” System of a Down
“Hot Fuss,” The Killers

I guess we’ll see on February 9th how my predictions work out.

Double Heh...

Heh...

"It's over, John. It's over."

So, our old boy John Kerry was on Face the Nation over the weekend.

One of his quotes has been making the rounds. In the process of explaining why Joe Lieberman would not make a good Secretary of Defense (which I agree with him on whole-heartedly), he goes off on this little tangent:

JOHN KERRY: ... I think what we need to do is recognize what we all agree on, which is, you've got to begin to set benchmarks for accomplishment; you've got to begin to transfer authority to the Iraqis, and there is no reason, Bob, that young American soldiers need to be going into the homes of Iraqis in the dead of night, terrorizing kids and children, uh-uh-uh, you know, women, breaking sort of the customs of the -- of -- of -- of -- historical customs, religious customs, whether you like it or not. Iraqis should be doing that. And after all of these two and a half years, with all of the talk of 210,000 people trained, there just is no excuse for not transferring more of that authority.

Let’s break this down:

“I think what we need to do is recognize what we all agree on, which is, you've got to begin to set benchmarks for accomplishment;…”

Bullshit. To set a benchmark for a war and for the birth of a new democracy would be intellectually dishonest. There is no way of knowing what can happen which would have a negative impact on said “drop-dead” date and anyone who would give his word on such knows that. The job is far from done, there’s no true end in sight. If it works out like Japan and Germany, we’ll have bases in Iraq for the next 60+ years. Quit asking for troop withdrawal. Unfortunately, it isn't happening.

“…you've got to begin to transfer authority to the Iraqis”

I've got no quarrel with this...

“…and there is no reason, Bob, that young American soldiers need to be going into the homes of Iraqis in the dead of night, terrorizing kids and children, uh-uh-uh, you know, women, breaking sort of the customs of the -- of -- of -- of -- historical customs, religious customs,”

Good job, John. You’ve just stated, in no uncertain terms, that our troops are terrorists. It’s 1971 all over again, isn’t it, buddy. US soldiers are terrorists and George Bush is Ghengis Khan.

How does Kerry respond to this? With personal attacks:

Statement by Kerry spokesman David Wade: 'Ken Mehlman’s filthy and shameful lie about a decorated combat veteran is disgraceful. Political hack Ken Mehlman and draft dodging, donut eating Rush Limbaugh have something in common. Neither of them know anything about how to make American troops safe. John Kerry will continue to speak out about how to succeed in Iraq and protect brave American troops'...

I’m assuming that Mr. Wade refers to Ken Mehlman only as the Republican puppet master as I’m unable to find any direct quote from him. Let’s break this one down though, shall we?

“'Ken Mehlman’s filthy and shameful lie about a decorated combat veteran is disgraceful.”

John Kerry served in Vietnam…this is undisputed. He even saw a limited amount of combat. As far as his decorations go, they remain to be, at best, questionable. He can not positively dispute the assertion that his Purple Heart was given as the result of a self-inflicted gunshot wound without releasing his military records. Despite the fact that he promised to release his complete military file 11 months ago, he has yet to do so. Given the choice between vindicating himself or remaining silent, he’s chosen to remain silent. HE LOST A PRESIDENCY OVER THIS, yet he does nothing to prove that he was the victim of a horrible lie.

“Political hack Ken Mehlman …”

A hack who has successfully managed a successful campaign for a US president (and thereby spanked your ass) and is currently the chair of the RNC. Besides being a spokesperson for a failed presidential candidate, what have you done, David?

“…and draft dodging, donut eating Rush Limbaugh …”

Personal attacks. So Democratic of you, Dave.

“…have something in common: Neither of them know anything about how to make American troops safe. “

So, I guess your boy Kerry is in good company.

“John Kerry will continue to speak out about how to succeed in Iraq…”

The only thing John Kerry can speak out about with any authority is how to leech off a dead millionaire’s widow.

…”and protect brave American troops...”

…who follow the US Military’s fine tradition of terrorizing the civilian children of the country they are there to protect…

I’ve made it no secret that I fell out of love with GWB some time back. Every time John Kerry opens his mouth, however, I thank God that Dubya is our president and Kerry isn’t.

Kilroy was here...

"Kilroy was here" explained.

Odds and Ends...

Being a penguin must suck...

Caught “March of the Penguins” over the weekend. It was, truly, an amazing piece of documentary film making.. The kid was not as enthralled by it as Mom and Dad were, but she’s two, so it’s understandable.

Just for poops and giggles:

I check out the Huffington Post once a day under the ideal that you keep your friends close and your enemies closer. 93.5% of what’s posted there is conspiratorial, far-left wing crap. 5% of it is well thought-out left-wing crap. The remaining 1.5% is somewhat right-leaning and usually pretty funny (oddly enough, it’s the conservatives who are the funny ones on this blog). Danielle Crittenden’s weekly installment of Presidential Instant Messages is quite funny. Check it out.

New study shows one more malady I needn't worry about...

According to this study, coffee and tea may reduce the risk of liver damage in overweight alcoholics. Considering my daily coffee and iced tea intake, I should be fine.

Actually, I’m more of a drunk than an alcohlic. The difference? Drunks don’t have to go to meetings.

"World comes to an end; women and minorities hit hardest."

Hurricanes disproportionately affect blacks and, according to this article, women are disproportionately affected by global warming…and it’s all men’s fault. What does this mean? Because of his refusal to ratify Kyoto, George Bush does not care about women. Right, Kanye?

Who cares what the Dow did today...did you see what Angelina was wearing?"

Finally, we have the online poll for Time’s Person of the Year. By an overwhelming margin, the people believe that it should be J.K. Rowling, author of the Harry Potter novels.

Let’s hear it for the cult of celebrity worship!

By no means am I discounting Rowling’s writing abilities. From what I understand, she’s a wonderful writer. If I had any interest whatsoever in the subject matter, I’m sure I’d be a big fan. What I AM saying, however, is that if 32% of the people who voted in this poll are of the opinion that a fiction writer “..most affected the news and our lives, for good or for ill, and embodied what was important about the year,” one of two things are true:

1. We’ve become so detached from reality that we hold those who entertain us in much higher esteem than those who truly have an impact on our lives (i.e., politicians, religious leaders, Acts of God); or,

2. People are stupid.

Actually, both are true. By definition, 50% of the US population is of below average intelligence.

As far as celebrity worship goes, John Lennon comes to mind:

About 40 years ago, he got himself into quite a bit of hot water when he said that the Beatles were more popular than Jesus Christ.

The meaning behind that comment is doubly true today, it seems. The Second Coming of Christ would be buried in the evening news if something big happened in Hollywood that day:

“Jesus Christ descended from Heaven today, sparking Armegeddon, but first we take you to Los Angeles California for breaking news. Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes are welcoming their new son, Banana El-Ron Cruise, into the world. Diane Sawyer speaks to us from in from of Cedars Sinai Hospital. Diane?”

El-Ron...get it? As in "Hubbard"??

Sometimes I crack myself up.

If I were any happier you'd have to pry the smile of my face with a friggin crowbar...

Enjoyed a nice dinner at a chinese joint with the wife and kid. My fortune says:

"Stop searching. Happiness will soon come to you."

Stupid fortune cookie.

Urban Rednecks UNITE!

Two very interesting articles came out last week regarding Southern identity (or the loss thereof). They’re interesting in that they essentially make the point that Southern accents and Southern identity and culture are dying.

This saddens me because I am a Southern boy…albeit with some caveats.

Every state I’ve ever lived in were member states of the old Confederacy, with the exception of one. Oklahoma had not obtained statehood at that point but the majority of the tribes of Oklahoma signed treaties with the CSA. Most non-Southerners would easily classify me as a Southerner but most rural Southerners would not. I am what would probably best be described as an “Urban Redneck.”

I’ve spent the past 21 plus years living in Miami, Dallas and Atlanta. I love the conveniences of living in the big city (or a suburb thereof). I have no desire to live more than 10 miles away from a sushi bar or 1 mile away from a grocery store. I’m very tolerant of traffic. I enjoy a degree of anonymity and am glad that I don’t have to hide my beer cans at the bottom of the trash can so my neighbors won’t see them. I hate country music, don’t like dogs and don’t own a shotgun. I love NASCAR but, over the past few years have found myself much less interested in football.

I have a Southern accent; the degree of thickness being in direct proportion to the number of beers I’ve had. I use words like “y’all”, “I reckon” and “fixin’ to” in day-to-day conversation. I often refer to friends, family and co-workers as “sir” or “ma’am”…not out of subservience, but out of respect.

I’ve eaten at some of the finer restaurants in the South but, often times, would rather sit down with a mess of greens and cornbread. I prefer catfish to sea bass. My wife has fantastic Teflon cookware but I always bypass it for my cast iron (never washed with soap, mind you). My homemade pickles are, in my opinion, far superior to anything store-bought as are my pickled jalapenos. I keep a jar of bacon grease in my refrigerator and use it to season a great deal of whatever I cook. I like my iced tea sweet and the only true barbecue is pork with a vinegary sauce..

I’m conservative in my politics, steadfast in my faith and a strong believer in traditional family values. I’ve got no problem with the “Rebel Flag” because I see it as a symbol of Southern heritage, not slavery or racism. I also think that “Larry the Cable Guy” is one of the funniest comedians ever…even if he’s not a native son.

My “Southern-ness” starts with my grandparents. Mom’s parents were born and raised in Alabama, Dad’s in Texas and Louisiana. My maternal grandmother and her sisters take great pride in being from the south and each of them has the thickest accent you’ll ever hear (imagine Foghorn Leghorn, but much slower.) Dad’s mom always had a garden and canned a lot of her own veggies.

Living in Miami for 10 years also contributed a great deal to my love of the south. Being exposed to so many different cultures made me embrace Southern culture that much more.

I’m not convinced that Southern culture is dead, but it’s certainly passed its peak. In order to do my part in keeping it alive, I’ll continue to watch the Dukes of Hazzard with my daughter, teach her to cook collard greens and let her know that there’s nothing wrong with saying “y’all”

Y'all come back now, y'hear...