Heretical Conservatism - Where Do I Agree With Mainstream Conservatives?

As Jonah Goldberg once noted, “…I think interest in conservatism has waned in recent years thanks to the more pressing issues of Islam and terrorism and the fact that — for good and for ill — conservatism has largely been defined for much of the last five years as "whatever George W. Bush does." To say this state of affairs has been vexing to some of us is an understatement on par with "haggis is an acquired taste.""

Just for fun, I pulled up “Present Social Conservative Values in the United States” from Wikipedia just so that I could see what percentage of these values I agree with. I limited myself to the social aspects of conservatism. Republicans have already abandoned fiscal conservatism so there's no real point in bringing it up.

Of the 13 values listed, I am strongly “conservative” on 4 and squishy on 3 others. This means I agree with conservatives less than 31% of the time (or 53.8% if my squishy views count). This, in schoolspeak would be an F and I can, in good conscience, turn in my Conservative Card.

Where do I agree with today’s conservatives?

Focus on stronger families and not big government for teaching values:

I am a firm believer in this, if nothing more than because I’m a parent who believes that I know better than the government what is best for my children. Besides, what values does the government have which would serve them later in life? Fiscal responsibility is out. So is Personal Responsibility. And when government is run by two parties whose values are often in opposition, does big government’s value curriculum change whenever the parties switch places?

Unfortunately, it seems that big government is already responsible for teaching values. I’m married to a school teacher. I know these things.

For example, I know that a large number of parents are as useless as tits on a bull. I know that it becomes incumbent on my wife to teach some of her students the difference between right and wrong because their useless parents have failed to do so. I also know that when she TRIES to instill some values (or, at the very least, SOCIAL SKILLS) with these children, her efforts are either met with apathy from the parents OR she’s accused of having it out for their kid. Rarely does she hear the words “Thank you for taking such an interest in my child’s well-being.”

My wife is a saint and I SO admire her for her ability to handle crappy kids and crappy parents with such grace. I am completely incapable of that…which explains why I’m in corporate America. I can (and do, on a daily basis) tell someone, in no uncertain terms, how badly they’re screwing up without fear of any REAL reprisal. It’s very liberating.

Got off on a tangent there.

Yes, a focus on stronger families is, indeed, a conservative value and I whole-heartedly agree with it. And before a liberal takes offense over this statement, I’m not saying that liberals don’t care about their families and I’m certainly not saying this is true of any liberal friends. I’m just saying that it wasn’t a conservative who wrote a book called “It Takes A Village.”

Protection of 2nd Amendment rights:

I like guns. I have a gun. I’d like to have more guns. If you can be responsible with a gun, you should be able to have one. If you’ve proven that you CAN’T be responsible with a gun, you should have it taken away when you’re put away in a jail cell. When you get out, you don’t get it back. So sorry.

I’m a firm believer in the Castle Doctrine. I am also a firm believer in gun safety and, as such, have made certain that my wife knows how to load, unload and shoot. As my kids get older, they will be taught to respect guns. My daughter has already been out with me when I went shooting and I was very blunt with her about what happens if you don’t handle guns with care. It was my duty to start her early…my father-in-law (the bird hunter) has made it clear that he intends to buy her her first shotgun. When he does, I don’t want to be giving her crash courses.

With that said, I am not completely opposed to CERTAIN limitations. For example, I’ve shot a Tec-9 and can say, with no qualms, that there is not a single GOOD reason for anyone to have one. If you’re into drive-bys, it’s a choice weapon. For legitimate use, however, there’s nothing redeeming about it whatsoever.

Reducing and/or reforming welfare for the poor and needy:

My dad always told me “If you find yourself in trouble, I will NOT bail you out. I will, however, do anything I can to help you bail YOURSELF out.”

To preserve the welfare of society as a whole, it is incumbent on us to help the poor and needy help themselves. This is why I donate to charities, give offerings to my church and have even been known to participate in a community service project. I even believe that the government has a LIMITED responsibility to help people pull themselves up by their bootstraps on those rare occasions where everything has fallen apart..

It is not, however, the government’s responsibility to support people, families (or, for that matter, third world countries) ad infinitum. If you’re unhappy with your station in life, fix it. If you’re not willing to fix it, fine…just don’t look to us to take care of you. I have no intentions of financially supporting my OWN children their entire lives, I’m certainly not going to support YOUR lazy ass for the rest of yours.

Lower taxes with spending focused on education, defense, and infrastructure:

This is a no-brainer and I really don’t have anything to add. My money should be mine. I have no problems paying my fair share for my security or for those things I use on a daily basis.

So there you go. Four “conservative values” that I can stand behind. Regrettably, it goes downhill from here.